Why am I like this?
“Like what?” (You ask.)
I’m like the desperate girl that NEEEEEEDS a man to feel loved.
I’m like the gossipy woman bad-mouthing her husband to everyone behind his back.
I’m like the weirdo mom that embarrasses her children because she is just NOT starting to “grow up”.
I’m like that absent friend that wants her friends to talk to her but doesn’t take the time to talk to them and check-in.
I’m like the pushy employee that thinks she deserves more from her bosses because she can’t afford to live in the city that she WORKS for!
I’m the confused wife that takes 6 years to talk herself into leaving an emotionally abusive relationship only to move back in with him just 14 months later.
I’m like this annoying Youtuber that not just posts a video ONCE a day… sometimes SEVERAL times in one day. Who does that???
THIS GIRL, RIGHT HERE!
So Why am I like this, why am I like this, why am I like this, why am I?
I’ll be there in the corner thinking right over, every single word of all the conversations that I’ve had.
It’s like I’m floating, ever since being back here at JIM’s. I am not who I used to be when I had my own place. I am back to survival mode… or dissociative mode. It’s almost like I’m watching my life play out like a movie, I’m not in charge of the script, or the plot… I’m just watching each day roll into the next. I love how Orla explains it very very well in this song; she says … “it’s like I’m looking down from the ceiling above.
I’ve got my mistakes on loop inside my head.”
I’m not really sure how to stop myself from self-destructing.
I will just keep adding more videos to my video journaling Deslob Student channel… it’s one of the only things that helps me feel better anymore.
By the way; (in case you’re wondering) the estimate we were given for one bathtub and one shower was ridiculous. They wanted $23,000!
NO THANK YOU!
Music: piano moment by bensound
& Why Am I Like This by Orla Gartland
& Positive Motivation by purple planet
Website: https://deslobstudent.wordpress.com/
Deslob Student: a vlog about learning how to be less of a slob 