all about my husband’s stuff

Hello, thanks for stopping by – and a double thank you if you happen to be reading. Yes- my husband has a little bit of a hoarding problem. I do too – but I’ve learned to let go of a lot of things and I stopped accumulating to “fill a hole” in my heart. I’m very aware of what things I buy and I am always letting go of more and more and more. Yes, it’s a challenge, but I’m learning.

My husband is another hoarder in our home but he hasn’t learned how to part with things yet. Especially after his mother died, everything holds even a stronger sentimental value. I can’t seem to EVER make this a beautiful space in this home with him.

Sometimes I wonder who runs this relationship.

Is it me? Or it is my husband?

In a perfect world, NEITHER of us would be “running” our marriage – but ever since I moved back in with him, he seems to be completely helpless without my gentle nudge.

Oh but watch out – I can’t nudge too much – or else I’ll poke the bear and get a completely different version of him that I don’t want to deal with.

He is SOOOO stubborn, he’s like a mule – or better yet: a jackass!

But when he follows my lead, he’s like puddy in my hands.
Some might even say he’s my performing monkey, doing tricks for my praise. Do I want him to get better at performing household honey do’s for me? YES PLEASE, especially when it comes to the stuff he is hoarding.

If he isn’t going to get rid of any of it, I’d at least like him to put it away so the house looks more inviting! Ugh, living here gives me a headache.

Here are the fun lyrics to this SONG VLOG. 🙂

They say, “Oh my God, I see the way you shine
Take your hands, my dear, and place them both in mine”
You know you stopped me dead while I was passing by
And now I beg to see you dance just one more time
Ooh, I see you, see you, see you every time
And oh my, I, I, I like your style
You, you make me, make me, make me wanna cry
And now I beg to see you dance just one more time
So they say
“Dance for me, dance for me, dance for me, oh-oh-oh
I’ve never seen anybody do the things you do before”
They say
“Move for me, move for me, move for me, ayy-ayy-ayy
And when you’re done, I’ll make you do it all again”
I said, “Oh my God, I see you walking by
Take my hands, my dear, and look me in my eyes”
Just like a monkey, I’ve been dancin’ my whole life
But you just beg to see me dance just one more time
Ooh, I see you, see you, see you every time
And oh my, I, I, I like your style
You, you make me, make me, make me wanna cry
And now I beg to see you dance just one more time
So they say
“Dance for me, dance for me, dance for me, oh-oh-oh
I’ve never seen anybody do the things you do before”
They say
“Move for me, move for me, move for me, ayy-ayy-ayy
And when you’re done, I’ll make you do it all again”
They say
“Dance for me, dance for me, dance for me, oh-oh-oh, oh-oh, oh-oh
I’ve never seen anybody do the things you do before”
They say
“Move for me, move for me, move for me, ayy-ayy-ayy
And when you’re done, I’ll make you do it all again”
Ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh (do it all again, do it all again, do it all again)
Whoa-oh, whoa-oh, oh
Ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh-ooh (do it all again, do it all again, do it all again)
Whoa-ah, ah-ah!
They say
“Dance for me, dance for me, dance for me, oh-oh-oh
I’ve never seen anybody do the things you do before”
They say
“Move for me, move for me, move for me, ayy-ayy-ayy
And when you’re done, I’ll make you do it all again”
They say
“Dance for me, dance for me, dance for me, oh-oh-oh, oh-oh, oh-oh
I’ve never seen anybody do the things you do before”
They say
“Move for me, move for me, move for me, ayy-ayy-ayy
And when you’re done, I’ll make you do it all again”
All again

Music: Memories by Markvard
& Dance Monkey by Tones And I

AN OLD CLEANING VIDEO: you won’t let it bend

Yup! We had CATS back in 2010!

We used to live in a bigger house.

It was a 5 bedroom, 2.5 bath with 2 stories. It was spacious, new, and clean… that is until WE moved in. I couldn’t keep it clean. I felt like such a failure. Plus, I was realizing how trapped I was in my abusive marriage. He only hit me once, it was in 2010 – I took the kids and went to my sister’s house 2 hours away. We talked all day the next day, and I was torn. I loved him but I refused to be “the battered wife” I was ready to take my two toddlers and leave him forever. But he convinced me to come back and promised to never hit me again. I believed him… but the damage was already done. I was afraid of pissing him off. So I spent most of my time trying to make him happy, make sure he wasn’t upset with me, and make sure he was “triggered”. God forbid I wanted to hang out with friends, cut my hair, or go see my family. If it triggered him, I decided it would be better to just stay home and do what he expected. I was too afraid to challenge him, to stand up to him, or to speak my truth.

That was no way to live. That’s why I had to leave him in 2021.

I left him for a year. I came back in 2022 with a NEW attitude. I grew “butterfly wings” and I refuse to live my life for him anymore. Now we share a home, share responsibilities, and take care of our two kids. We are learning how to make our marriage work but I refuse to bend over backwards anymore. I am in charge of my life now. I was in MISERY and I refuse to go back to that place ever again.

This video was an attempt to keep me motivated by filming my dishes and chores. Once I was done with that, I thought it would be fun to tidy up the front room that way too. Instead of hyperspeed, I did jump cuts – manually – in an old 8mm camera! It was fun to make, even funnier to watch back 14 years later. I miss that house.

But it was a rental, and this one we live in now is ours.

Anyway – thanks for watching – let me know if you relate to anything in this video or in my blog. 🙂
-Crystal

Music: Misery by Maroon 5
& Positive Motivation by purple planet

on the side of the house

Hey there! I’ve got another vlog update about my son’s Volkswagon! I really wanted to capture him and his friends pushing it into its new space on the side of the house, but I MISSED it! Oh well, I get to show off the ending, where they are putting up a tent to give my son shade while he works on his non-working bug. I love that he was able to get support from his buddies, even if he did have to bribe them with food and cash. 🙂

Thank you for letting me share these memories with you – and thank you for reading – it gives me a space to feel more connected with others. Please respond in the comments below if you relate to anything in this video.

Thank you again for your time.
-Crystal

Music: Memories by Markvard
& Memories by bensound

my son is overwhelmed

Thanks for stopping by – I’m glad a couple people still watch this old silly cleaning vlog channel of mine! Even less READ what I’m writing!

But I’m appreciative that you’re here!

Today I’m feeling bad for my son so I decided to do his one and only chore for him… it turns out, he hasn’t cleaned up this sink in over a month! It shows – see the mold? NASTY! But I’m glad that I got it up by letting it soak for a few hours under a stain remover – Oxy Clean! (not sponsored)

Have you ever felt bad for your teen and wanted to help ease their angst?

Please respond in the comments below if you relate to anything in this video.

Thank you again for your time.
-Crystal

Music: Memories by Markvard
& I Ain’t Worried by OneRepublic
& Memories by bensound

a card game for my adhd brain

I recorded the first half of this video a long time ago… as you can tell, the volume is different, my voice was peppier and I sounded like I had way too much caffeine. I recorded the 2nd half of the audio today, and I’m not feeling all that “preppy” today. I’m tired, haven’t had caffeine and I’m also just getting over a cold – so please forgive me for the chaotic mess of this video.

It starts off with a hyperspeed video of me making a MAJOR To-Do list. Not just things I need to do, but also a couple of lists that I’d like to do. I divided these two lists in half and assigned a playing card to each of them. Then I reserved the black suit cards to “productive” To-Do things and assigned red suit cards to the preferred things that I’d like to do.

Once the list was created, my camera phone battery was low and I had to “play” the game later. I think I have a total of 5 different videos from 5 different days that I crammed in here. The game of course is meant to be played until I’ve drawn every single card – thus giving me a wide variety of how my days off are spent. But to be honest, I haven’t had a whole lot of time off lately and I haven’t been as disciplined as I’d like to be. Even if I just drew one card a day, that would be better than what I’ve been doing. I’ve just been letting my mood dictate things that I accomplish for the day – but this game helps me focus on some of the things I never make time for!

After I show you all the cleaning and fun cards that I was destined to draw, I end this video with a clip from my Dad and Mom – they were only married for a short time but had 3 kids in that short time, I am the oldest – my mom is 6 months pregnant with my brother Christopher. I was only 2, almost 3 so I was talking a lot, but you probably can’t understand me very well.

The coolest part of this video is the story my mom tells my dad about meeting Jimmy Stewart. You know, the actor from my favorite Christmas movie, “It’s a Wonderful Life” – it’s so cool that she met him! She used to be the manager at the Hotel Utah gift shop in the 80’s. Oh sure, she might’ve sent him on a useless walk while he had a tummy ache, but how many people can say that they steered Jimmy Stewart on a wild goose chase?

Haha – my Mom can!

Then we end this video with my DadDee, talking to the camera like I do now… I grew up on the camera, it’s no wonder why I’m comfortable in front of it. I sure miss him. Did you know that he had 5 more kids after I was born? Yup! 3 with my mom and 3 with my stepmom. I really wish my Dad hadn’t died though. He’d be 63 right now, and he’d be a Grandpa of 9 Grandkids that he never got to meet. He died when I was only 17, and my baby sister was only 1 – that left a big giant hole in our family’s hearts.

He died of non-Hodgkins lymphoma -cancer in his pancreas. He was only 38 years old. I miss him every day. But I am sooo grateful to these videos that he left us, it’s the next best thing to having him here with us.

Thank you for letting me share these memories with you – and thank you for reading – it gives me a space to talk about him… and keep his memory alive. Please respond in the comments below if you relate to anything in this video.

Thank you again for your time.
-Crystal

Music: Memories by Markvard
& Memories by bensound

Website: https://deslobstudent.wordpress.com/